It’s the middle of the night. I haven been postponing studying for my first Cardiology midterm since about two days ago. I’m now down to the wire. I leave for class in less than three hours now. Somewhere in one of the corners of my mind I am worried. The message of impending doom however, has yet to hit me wholly. Continue reading
I read back upon the last post with a bit of disbelief. The story with Alex was left without a conclusion, to be sure. But frankly, I don’t wish to stroll down memory lane. I’m in such a different place right now, I recoil at the thought of falling back in any way shape or form.
I’m currently in the middle of my ninth semester (of ten) of medical school. Incredibly I haven’t really suffered what’s considered to be one of the roughest semesters of the program. I’m different now; I have changed so much so that anytime I take full stock of me, this me, I have to grin in amazement. This a great version of me. Continue reading
On the last day of my three-day weekend. I’ve spent it with Grams. My anxiety is at an all time high. I waver between being happy and moping, though the last 24 hours have been more of the latter. I move as though I were underwater. I’ve no energy, no desire to do a damn thing. Continue reading
The two weeks that followed the message I sent Alex were difficult to say the least. I spent my days alternating between hopeful and feeling hopeless. He did eventually reply to my text, adeptly glossing over the depth of my words.
We saw each other the week after Spring Break. It was a short amount of time, as he was heading to his sister’s birthday party afterward. That afternoon he shared with me some personal things, regarding his family. I listened carefully, aware that the information he shared was not to be taken lightly. Continue reading
Alex and I have continued to see each other. With each passing day the emotions he inspires inside me bubble up stronger and more acutely. This last time around we were lying side by side with my head on his chest, my right arm across it and my hand directly above his heart. Continue reading
I’m home in the city. Chopin in the background. The quiet grates on my nerves. I realize it may have been smarter to head to my Grandmother’s home earlier than to stay here and ruminate over Alex. If it weren’t for the sudden thunder, I’d have gone for a jog this afternoon. It’s painfully clear that I need to clear my head. Continue reading
Today officially kicked off the beginning of my week off from class- my Spring Break. But seeing as how we, my classmates and I, are responsible motivated future MDs, we had to forfeit a couple days of vacation. I have class both this upcoming Monday and Tuesday. The topics we have to cover require us to put in a little more time at the hospital. I suppose I ought to be furious. I had actually been counting down to this week. A much needed respite from what’s been a grueling semester. I’m not angry however… I can’t feel anger. I am, shockingly, thankfully quite content. It’s all because of Alex. Continue reading